“Cremation Speech” by Antony after Brutus has finished

Students, Faculty, countrymen,
lend me your ears:
I come to bury Efflux, not to praise him.
The evil that women
do lives after them;
The good is oft interred
Along with callous speeches;
So let it be with Efflux.
The noble Brutus
Hath told you Efflux was ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Efflux answered it.

Here, under leave of Brutus and the faculty and rest of IBS –
For Brutus is an honorable man;
Come I to speak in Efflux’s funeral.
He was my Baby, Innocent and delicate
just like a new formed bud:
But Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honorable man.

He hath brought many captive stories to home,
Stories of hope, of faith, of failures, of despair
Stories which, tored your heart apart
Stories which made you laugh so hard
Stories which made you feel proud
Stories which told you how to conduct
Did this in Efflux seem ambitious?
When that the students had cried, Efflux hath wept.
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honorable man.

You all did see that on the Lupercal
King presented Monika Examination Coordinator’s crown,
At other stance a Seminar’s honorary gown
Least did he present a chamber close to him
Which she did thrice refuse: was this ambition?
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And, sure, he is an honorable man.


I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.

You all did love Efflux once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then to mourn for him?
Harmless Efflux has been strangulated to death
Inspired by a baseless conspiracy theory
O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason! Bear with me;

My heart is in the coffin there with Efflux,
And I must pause till it come back to me.
(With a very heavy heart and disgust for the king)