Two days ago, I found one of my dupattas missing, only to discover that my father and my daughter had used it to create a hammock for her dolls. Avanika, my daughter, was tending to them, giving them a gentle swing. She played with it all Sunday, putting her dolls and teddies in the hammock/teeter, as per her game. In the evening, I took her out to the park, only to come home and find that her Nana had removed the hammock. She was very upset, but Nana explained that her dolls had been troubling him while she was away, so he had taken it down. Next, I saw her carrying her dolls in her arms and asking them to apologize to Nana. 'Main nahi thi tumne Nana ko pareshaan kiya... Sorry bolo !'
This special bond between my 80-year-old father and my 6-year-old daughter is so precious. They play, talk, and lie down together to watch cartoons. She has Nana to answer all her numerous questions. Nana has a toy that brings out laughter and keeps the house lively. She is a naughty girl, and Nana scolds her at times, but she still loves being with him.
As I sit down to write about her after six months, I’m not sure where to begin. Tickling time, playtime, storytime… such words and phrases keep flowing in the house, along with the twinkle in her eye, the warm hugs, the inquisitive eyes, the naughty smile, and the sensitivity she shows when I have a sprained leg, putting her to sleep, feeding her, teaching her early lessons in reading and writing both Hindi and English, and the way she gets confused with the phonetics of both languages, her love for Mowgli and Masha, animals and birds, our morning walks, bedtime stories, and living life together – all these moments fill my heart.
As I discover her personality and talents, I realize that she has a wonderful understanding of sur and taal. She dances and sings beautifully(which happens all day long). She is also very good with a pencil and brush. Recently, I found out that she is a natural mathematician and quite adept with numbers. It’s easy to please her with small things; she is such a happy child.
My house is full, and my life too. This little life is completely dependent on me for everything, and I just hope I take care of her in a way that helps her blossom. I must also take care of my father. These are the most beautiful responsibilities, and there’s immense fulfillment in carrying them. I can’t do anything that would disturb the peace of either my father or my daughter.
I am super busy with household chores, sending her to school, managing the house, cooking, and working on my laptop. Days fly by. Taking a short break from a regular job was a wise decision. Working from home suits me for now. Even if I return to a regular job, I would prefer working in an academic institution where I can have campus accommodation, like at IIT Bombay or IIM Bangalore. That would offer a good work-life balance.
We lead a simple life, but it is happy and fulfilling. I had cracked the civil services exam and had an MBA degree. I could have been in a position of power in the public or private sector. But I chose to be an academician. Back then, I thought it was because I was strongly academically inclined – my love for reading and writing. But now, I realize it was because I always wanted life on a smaller scale. The idea of living on a large scale seemed daunting.
The past year has been unpredictable. My mom passed away so suddenly, leaving a gap that can never be filled. I struggled to come to terms with it, and then life threw me another surprise. I had wanted to adopt a child for years, but there was a long waiting list. In fact, I had almost given up hope. Then, suddenly, things worked out. Within a matter of days, Avanika became a part of my life. The paperwork was done, the process was completed quickly. Life took a turn.
As the days go by, what is happening now feels almost incomprehensible. It’s unprecedented, almost unbelievable. The logical mind wants to be in denial. There seems to be a design in it that my limited intelligence can’t fully grasp. I’m not in a position to decide or decipher, so I have decided to go with the flow. What is meant to happen will happen or not happen.
